A life with "Ands"

One day

2008-01-24T23:00:00.000-08:00

Hey all.

I put some videos of me having fun at the pool!

Enjoy

and another

Fifty dollar cables = Fifty dollar smiles

2008-01-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

So guess what?
For a loong time my sound had not been working on my computer, which prevented me from all sorts of stuff, like having the full experience of porn, and now I fixed it!
Also I got a USB cable thingy for my camera to put pictures and videos up.
And Holy moley, i just put a video up on YOUTUBE!
Here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6o5jRJU14Q

It's like my first one ever.

So give me a good rating cause you like me!

Bye for now

-Chase.

Hey

2007-11-23T01:36:00.000-08:00

Hi, I am alive.
I have risen from my dark grotto of internet anti-socialism,
And have returned for yet another spell-binding saga.
Hopfully even less perfect than before!

I hope that love is still around.
I am unsure as to what that might be
(I'll "wait without hope" on that one.)

thanks!

-Chase

Poem 071407

2007-07-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

STAY

As the curtains waved, he stared at them and realized his life.

The hole in the cloth,
a ship in the Bering sea.

The leaves dove past him,
the days in the year were silent.

Darkness was nestling in,
his age was a strangle (or a noose).

He knew the bear on the hill was asleep and dying,
He knew the swan (draped in the silt of the world)
had lost her feathers to fly.

Still or creeping, it was an effort.
And still the creeping was effortless.

And still was all he could be
until the ship sailed to the bottom,
the swan flew without feathers,
and the bear slept without rest.

-Chase C. Adams

062207

2007-06-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

TURN OF THE CENTURY

It was supposed to be better than the rest, our twentieth century.
But it won't have time to prove it.
Its years are numbered,
its step unsteady

its breath short.

Already too much has happened
that was not supposed to happen,
and what was to come
has yet to come.

Spring was to be on its way
and happiniess, among other things.

Fear was to leave the mountains and valleys.
the truth was supposed to finish before the lie.

Certain misfortunes
were never to happen again
such as war and hunger and so forth.

The defenselessness of the defenseless
was going to be respected.
Same for trust and the like.

Whoever wanted to enjoy the world
faces an impossible task.

Stupidity is not funny.
Wisdom is not cheerful.

Hope
is no longer the same young girl
et cetera. Alas.

God was at last to believe in man:
good and strong.
But good and strong
are still two different people.

How to live -- someone asked me in a letter,
someone I had wanted to ask the same thing.

Again and as always,
and as seen above
there are no questions more urgent
than the naive ones.

-- Wislawa Szymboraka

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

2007-06-10T02:20:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have had few but great troubles.
They set me back and make me survive.
But instead of telling my troubles (for fear of losing my audience),
I will mention some small recurring theme that follows them.

In the last month I have repeatedly opened a book of poetry.
William Stafford's "An Oregon Message".
Whenever I would open the book, it would be at random,
in hopes that perhaps it would give me insight to my life at the moment.
(To give an idea, I maybe have opened the book at random 30 times or so).
More often than not, I feel that it does give me some clue to my life at hand.

Now in my past two (rather large) troubles that I've faced, I decided to open William Stafford to see if he can help me in anyway (at least a change of perspective). At those two times it keeps opening to the same poem (these are the only two times that I have opened the book to this).

It goes like this...

ULTIMATE PROBLEMS

In the Aztec design God crowds
into the little pea that is rolling
out of the picture.
All the rest extends bleaker
because God has gone away.

In the white man design, though,
no pea is there.
God is everywhere,
but hard to see.
The Aztecs frown at this.

How do you know he is everywhere?
And how did he get out of the pea?

NOW!
I keep having the same thoughts of the poem rehearsed to myself, and it's getting me nowhere.
I feel that there might be something really really really significant in it all.

Feedback?

Wonderful Tonight

2007-05-20T13:16:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to two parties.
One was a birthday for one of my friends (where surprisingly I knew many more people than I thought I would know), and the second was a party where I only knew one person, and the rest were cross-dressers that were dancing around to things like the movie "RENT" and CHICAGO" and just as well doing Margaret Cho impressions.
It was all fun, it was new and exciting and everyone that I met was great.

There was one problem though. Something almost meager in size but creates an impeccable outcome.
It was the little black hole of thought, sucking away my thinking, and crushing it to death. keeping me unable to respond to anybody in any way. Like my brain had been coated in a sort of ancient painted crust, or mummified.

As I stood just outside the circles of blather (my words being smashed between the jaws of my social distress), I discovered that I still had my default words. The words you use when you don’t know what else to say. I think to myself that with a little spice of enthusiasm I could utilize those words to be involved in a conversation!
But how should I begin?
And how should I then presume?

"Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets and watched the smoke that rises from pipes of lonely men in short sleeves leaning out of windows?
I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas."

My enthusiastic dullness did not work so well. Some part of me had realized that at some point I must carry on a conversation.

The night was wasted in a learning experience.

Crossroads

2007-04-22T13:47:00.000-07:00

As a child,
I would walk bare foot to school,
Avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk.
"If you step on a crack you'll break your mothers back"
The children would sing inside my head.

It was always foggy then.
And sometimes
I would see the Santa Maria sailing calmly beneath the hanging stop sign
That divided my street like a mezzaluna.

I now step between bricks much of the time,
And ride the expressway to work.

Blessings

2007-04-12T06:46:00.000-07:00

It looks like the world of karma has largely taken a place in my life once again!

Yesterday at two o' clock, I tore my shoulder in the SLCC weight room while performing military press.
I experience severe shocks of pain through little movements, and will be laid up for a long time.
The truth is, I am trying to be very optimistic about it all, but I find it very difficult.
Currently, I am the strongest I have ever been.
What saddens me is that all of it will be gone soon, and I will no longer have the body that I have worked so hard to create.

A large part of me feels that this experience is something that I must learn from every so often (Once a year?)

(I stand naked to the mirror, and for the first time ever I feel a big un-motivational kick in the ass.)

I go to the Doc today.

Morning

2007-04-09T10:29:00.000-07:00

This morning I had risen to the strings of nostalgia pulling me closer to my window.

Rhetorical

2007-04-05T05:33:00.000-07:00

As I become closer to death, will I (when my age begins to strangle my body) become closer to God for fear of life? Or shall I neglect and veer from religion because of corruption and disbelief from influence from others. When people feel distanced from their religion, do they feel less attached to life and the greatness it offers?
Life is opportunity!

I've been drinking.

Raped

2007-03-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning feeling spectacular.
I biked (with my wonderful bike) all the way to work.
All the while i had listened to the thrird and forth movement of the Pines of Rome by rehspegi.
So my morning was great.
I get to work, and what do I find laying on my counter?
That's right!
My journal!
I experianced a fit of rage that boiled through me to such a degree that I tipped over all of the protein bars and gum, so that they spilled out across the ground very much unlike a patient etherised upon a table.
Wow, Chase, settle down.
This is not like you.
I knew, I knew that he had read it.
That bastard Co-worker of mine.
Of course I was jumping to conclusions, but something real was happening.
Something unordinary to the extreme.
I was wounded, yes.
But more so I felt something from it all.
I felt his grimy hands all over the pages,
I felt his crtisizing eyes scanning my words like a virus.
I felt him laugh and chuckle as I held the journal myself.
It had happened, it was no longer MY journal, it was everybody elses.
So I trap myself inside the office to be alone, feeling like the beast in beauty and the beast.
I try to read words that I have written, but to think that anyone else (especially my co-worker) that has read it, makes my nerves tremble like a live-wire.
Should I say that it is my own fault for neglecting my journal, and that it is truely everyones desire to know deep things about another.
Yes.
Will I?
Well... "And youth is cruel, and has no remorse
And smiles at situations which it cannot see.
I smile, of course,
And go on drinking tea."
I'll try.

Snuffed

2007-03-19T20:33:00.000-07:00

So there I was, pencil in hand and the paper with little circles in front of me. A-B-C-D-E, ah it didn’t matter what was on it, all I knew was I was gonna win this test over like the time gramma spat ‘er chew into the bucket from the roof. This bitch was mine! At least that’s what one would think after memorizing the entire study sheet and reading all the chapters while noting much of them. And after I passed the test, I was gonna celebrate by talking to that fancy lady that I can never seem to catch, and hopefully at least get her name, though what’s in a name, right?
Well somehow the test kicked my ass HARDCORE. I am unsure as to how that happened, and the lady friend, well, she dispersed before I could even lick my lips and clear my throat. Maybe with her it’s a race between the tortoise and the hare. Then again, maybe I just need to be faster, even if I did finish the test first. What the hell yo!
I got this, I got this.
Next week, be prepared lady friend, Uncle Chase is coming to town.

Icecream is a joke, and I'm not laughing!

2007-03-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing about summer that drives me crazy (aside from the heat and inversion) it is the icecream man.
And guess what?
He's back.
Oh holy day, why must I go through the torment of that blasting off-key music from his horribly suspicious van! And his disgustingly overpriced chocolate bars shaped like baseball bats does not help me either!
"Geez-la-f'ing-weeze man, I'll buy my own dandy candybars, thanks anyway! Now turn off your screeching banshie music before I mash you with a REAL baseball bat!"
There should be a noise ordenance for them bastards.

Spring Fever

2007-03-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

When it comes to women that are in my life, I am often confused on how I feel about them. Thus I am constantly making choices that baffle me to no extent. For example, some women will find me attractive and want to date me, get to know me, or jump in the rack and bigitty bang it out. Unfortunately, when they are too enthusiastic with me I loose interest right away. When they realize this and begin to fade off, I often start talking to them again (This is sometimes repeated and never gets anywhere).
Another way in which I confuse myself is when I have an interest in another woman. At times I find myself extremely infatuated but never mustering up the courage to ask them out, or even talk to them! There are two hot chicks that take up that role right now, one works at a restaurant that I go to. (I feel she is out of my range, lol). The other is in my psychology class, and I don’t even know her name! I know she draws, I know she likes romantic movies, I know she studies hard, I think she is shy. But I don’t know her F’ing name! I’ve barely talked to her; I haven’t asked her out, what the hell is the matter with me? I feel it odd of me to rant on this boring-ass subject, but it wouldn’t get out of my cerebellum.
Next time!
Next time I’ll ask her out!
Monday the nineteenth!
(Or at least know her name, lol)

Poem 030707

2007-03-08T06:18:00.000-08:00

Fillings

When you feel a certain emotion,
A dry enervated crawl through a cretaceous desert.
You come to find
that you are perhaps not who you think you are.
Instead,
you become the emotion that spirals the edges of your body,
like a snake coiling about a shrub
in that same immaculate desert.
You become the beating light that boils you,
The un-firming sand grabbing hold of your wearied footsteps,
the tolerated aroma scarring your memory.
You are no longer a thought.
You are no longer a worker or a couch potato.
Instead you become the refracting blue light of the T.V.,
and the over cooked popcorn in your lap.
You become the impact of the steal pillars colliding,
and the vibration in your coffee mug.
And when you complete your day with what relaxes you.
Go ahead, despair, feel, and be happy.
For those are moments of life,
and life is the moment of now.

Poem by Billy Collins

2007-02-25T09:25:00.000-08:00

I like this one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0yn7nS_wuc

Beaten by a Stick

2007-02-22T05:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was one of the most challenging days that I have faced in a long time, and I am so discouraged that I don't know what to do.
My body feels like one of those train wrecks that you see on T.V. with people hanging off of the side of a bridge and all.
Biking/boxing/lifting all in a day.
One of those days where you just want to go home and fall asleep in bed. If that was an option I would have done that, but I had to go to school.
Last week we all turned in the big portfolio.
And when I say big I mean it counts for 1/3 of the grade in the class.
We got those back yesterday.
While I feel like I worked my ass off on these assignments, it was no match for my teachers critical nazi ways.
I recieved a D on the entire portfolio.
When she had called me up to give me the portfolio (and take my soul) I had become very enraged upon looking down to see the D on my paper.
My emotions had been strewn about the room like the echo of a tumbling boulder.
I was so angry!
I grabbed my paper in the midst of her final sentence, slumped in my chair like a string puppet, and stared off.
When class ended I walked home from school and halfway cried.

I really felt like I tried hard on the assignments due.
I am not sure why she gave me a D.
But by the way she talks to me, and the way she graded me, I beleive that she just doesnt like me. (I wish I could explain that better)
Maybe because I wrote about getting high in a paper once, I don't know.
Maybe I just want to blame someone other than myself, I don't know.
I feel emotionally/physically drained and I want to quit.

Oh Frabjous day!

2007-02-18T15:37:00.000-08:00

For some time now I have been worried about what I want to do with my life, and now I feel I have found something that will take me to a much higher level.
By june of this year, I will become a personal trainer through NASM.
I am very excited to study for the coarse, and very excited to earn my certificate.
It will be hard, but it wouldent be as satisfying without the hardship.
I know I am capable of being the best at what I want to do.
Being the top student in both of my black belt testings really opened my eyes and made me see what I am capable of.
To me, getting my certificate is equal, if not greater to earning both of my black belts.
OH frabjous day! calooh! calay!
I wish there was some way I could thank everyone that has encouraged me.
Even the people who have tried to discourage me, they have reminded me of how strong I really am.
Thanks everyone!

Longer than the average shit

2007-02-15T08:57:00.000-08:00

I havent written in a while because I have actually been interested in school lately.
Psycology class has now become more than just a place to admire and talk to hot girls. I am now liking what it has to offer. I am learning all sorts of stuff on the psycology of what we do, see, and experiance in our everyday lives. It's really quite fun!
As far as my English class goes, it's fun and I have a small amount of opportunity to be creative and expressive (which is better than none), but my teacher is friggin grammar nazi! She urges to point out more mistakes and negative apects of peoples paper than she does with the positive. It's not all that modivating, but I am still enjoying the learning and the activities.
In other news I wrote a letter to my hateful sister yesterday for the first time in my life. I told her about how I feel that no matter how nice I am she always seems to hate me (Even taking psycology doesnt help in figuring her out). It was a kind of bummer, but it becomes extremely frusterating when everytime I enter a room that she is in, she gets upset and storms out. Plates rattling from her stomping and all. I am not trying to make myself sound like the good-guy here, and I know that this blog is now longer than the average shit and no-one will want to read it now, but I honestly don't know how to help her in being pleasent to me.
When loving kindness doesnt work, and hate seems to be her only way of expression towards me, what else can I do?

Breakthrough

2007-01-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

Breakthrough

As I stood and stared into the vastness of my silver framed stereo, which played nothing but my own unhealthy distrust, I had realized that I had been invisible. Or at least I was pretending to be. My phase in life had changed. I was no longer on a charging roll to meet my goals, but instead was depleting and returning to a degrading life, I was my own degrading life. I looked to my floor and saw a flood of misadventure trapping me and holding me down.
So I read this:
http://cfcl.com/ching/P/43.76.shtml
And have been breaking-through ever since.
My car is completely clean,
My room is no longer a mess,
I have been calling people that I have needed to call,
My diet is getting better again,
And I am starting to do more kicks in my room.
Now I just have to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life.
It’s still a complicated mechanical issue that constantly tries to get my attention.
But I am sure that I can dig myself out of this one too.
Bye.

Surfing

2007-01-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

I tempt myself
And pace the back door
Ready to leave.
My beer times me like an hourglass
And I am stuck in place.
The two dogs
Who play and wrestle
Guard my path to the sink,
While my father works and whistles on his skis.
Safely imprisoned
I think of a way out.
Then I saw it,
My escape,
Softly floating away from me.

The time has come

2007-01-14T08:47:00.000-08:00

You left me standing there,
like you left yourself.

I sit in the chair and become weaker
and more glued to it.
I feel like a fresh minty glob of gum on the bottom of your shoe.
Made for something else.
Entirely.
Freezer frozen,
Preserved for "freshness."
I will not be a Microwavable pizza anymore!

I must be changing.
http://cfcl.com/ching/P/49.56.shtml

Tab

2006-12-31T13:30:00.000-08:00

TAB

My hands skim the sensor for the automatic sink to rinse my fingers.
But nothing happens.
"Am I real?"
Am I just an imaginary figure
Droning about freeways and bathrooms
Looking to keep life for myself?
Will it turn on?
And if so can it wash away the impatience
that holds on to me
Like the child in the convenience store
gripping the trigger to the impossible green gun.
While the price tag drooping from his wrist
pleads to him that there may just be a price for everything after all.

Waiting in comfort,
comfort in waiting.

More Ands

2006-12-03T11:56:00.000-08:00

"No Likes"

By Chase Adams

The shadows from the curtains wash over me

and make me feel unsurfaced.

I was drowing in them,

drowning in an illusion

that is with us everyday.

I couldent breath,

I couldent move.

And I knew

thats where I would die.

at my dead end job,

Grasping my dead end heart.

Confused Confused Confused

2006-11-30T12:03:00.000-08:00

Ransom

Sadness like invisible ocean,
Not so overwhelming.
I strain my heart over a white sink,
sink...
sinking up from your stomach
like the candy you had earlier.

Forget.
So much like a space in a river.
Hard to see?

I am untying the motion,
sitting still,
"I'll follow you into the dark".
there.

I slipped out,
latched onto me
remanence of clear days
moving awkwardly.
A duck in the snow.

Good-hi new world,
I'm a happy person.

This, that, the other

2006-11-28T07:07:00.000-08:00

What am I doing?
I need a rake for all of these leaves.
For the comings and goings I mean.
Like when you left your house with the door open
and the chill came swooping in
like a wave in a storm
smashing up against a golden ship
and flooding the deck.

Oh great another sunrise,
that means he is going to get up,
go outside,
take a big breath,
and come back in.

Poem 102906

2006-10-29T14:30:00.000-08:00

LIGHTLY

I am going to soar above you all.
And It will feel so good.

I will leave this place soon,

like I left my birth.

And you will scream and moan with pain.

And I will hold you and pat you on the back

and say "It's okay, don't worry."

Then I will know that you have been born again,

and one day you will grow more

and leave me too.

And I will wail and scream

until someone pats me on the back

and says "Don't worry, it's okay."

And just before I die,

I will be born again.

And we will soar together
like ribbons from a child's present

tusseling in the wind.

And we will land entangled

on a kwanzan cherry tree

until we have rotted away

from the screaming rain.

2006-10-11T13:32:00.000-07:00

MEDIUM

I met you out of circumstance.
You don't know that sometimes I lie beneath my sheets
and think about the way your hair is pulled tightly behind
your ears into a bun
like a bag of rocks
being held by it's knot
and carried by a little boy
that tramples and plays
inside the bank of a river,
turbulant.

You also don't know
that I know you try too hard,
With your clunky shoes beating the ground
loudly.
Your cry to the world.
Your a loner.

I don't want to say your shy,
but more connected.
like you have things to think but not say.

And someday,
when I've had my chocolate cake
I'll tell you to come sit by me
during class.
And when you do,
you'll know
your shoes cannot save you.

If it was a monkey, I'd understand

2006-10-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

Last week I began to fry some steaks on my stove top at 3 am when I heard a lovely little *squeak* from beneath my refrigerator."Oh how precious, A little mouse!" I had thought to myself.I watched the little guy scurry across my floor to the cat food beneath the flimsy pine table by the hallway where I broke my toe last June.Back and fourth he would go from the fridge to the cat food.Again and again!And when he was finally finished for the evening, and I had taken my steaks off of the stove, he gave out a big cry of satisfaction from within his cave.It was so loud I thought it would wake people up.So I decided I had better catch it and toss it outside.Using my Neanderthal methods I grabbed a broom and a large Tupper wear with its lid.
From one end of the fridge I jiggled the broom, and the other I had the Tupperware for it to jump in."This should work!" I thought to myself with a smile as my steaks cooled beneath the impatient moonlight.In my stretched out awkward position I Jiggled the broom. Jumping out at me, it lands inside the plastic container. My brain puts my arm in nervous warp speed and I slam the lid onto the container. But before I could get it all the way on, it slips through a tiny corner that I hadn’t secured and escapes beneath the stove. Where there happens to be whole tunnel that goes beneath all the cabinets that surround the stove.Frustrated I pace around, eat my cold steaks and off myself to bed.Morning comes and I am off to home depot to get some Humane traps.(Cause I am such a good sport.)
I find some for cheap. The brand name is "Victor." And Ill tell you why they are wrong.
I find that the mouse has discovered the lazy susan, which has al sorts of wheaty goodness to chomp on. I look inside and find an entire bad of oatmeal gone. Pasta spewed out everywhere, nutragrain bars opened, and no mouse inside. EYECARUMBA! (sp) I put cheese in one trap, and peanut butter in the other, both inside the cupboard. I felt like Tom on "Tom and Jerry." Except i guess, I am more of a sucker.I leave and come back some hours later to see what? That’s right! The door on the trap had closed! "Strawberry jelly beans!" I prepare myself by first doing jumping jacks, then opening the back door, and laughing in a victorious tone.I grab the trap carefully so as not to drop it. "it feels heavier!" I then proceed to skip outside to my back fence, open the trap, and wait, and wait...No mousy.

Mr. Jengels is going to have to meet my little snapping friend.I feel bad, but the poop all over the place is just too much.Update: Soon to come.

From Zorba the Greek 1964

2006-08-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

"A man needs a little madness or else . . . he never dares to cut the rope and be free."
--Anthony Quinn

Mama says a pistol is the devils right hand

2006-08-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have one of those days where you keep messing up?
And not so much "oops, I dropped my pencil."
But more along the lines of "oops, I got my friend in trouble at work."
Or "Oops, I spilled an entire beer on your new white carpet for a very stupid reason."
Or "Woopsy, I accidently gave your number to a collection agency."
Though the agency was convincing.
That's no excuse.
I kind of think that it's my turn though,
I mean my turn for bad things to fall on me.
My mother is in a sling from her surgery on her dislocated shoulder,
My friend shattered his elbow saturday on his bike and I had to take care of him all day.
(He is sixty years old) Poor guy.
My Friend's long time girlfriend who he was living with decided to up and leave on saturday.

And I...screw up allot?
I am not sure if that fits completely within the puzzle,
But I am gonna go with it.

Well I don't want to bore you so Ill leave you with this quote:

"Competence Is What You Do When You Make a Mistake"
-Ronald A. Smith

New kinds of food

2006-08-04T19:50:00.000-07:00

I notice few things make me angry.
But when I am angry, I am in little control of my emotions.
I feel like Peter on family guy when he is on steroids
(suttle humor)
One thing that often gets my all wriled up is when I am unable to eat.
and finding food is really difficult.
But ever since I started my diet of 1000 cal. (out of 4000) a day of raw food,
I have been happier than ever!
When I am hungery I am not unhappy much at all.
In fact I feel very level in my emotions latley.
Everyday I eat:
500 cal. or olives, (organic is prefered)
160 cal. of almonds,
200 cal. of oat groats,
and some veggies and fruits to top it off.
I have been doing it for two weeks now,
and I hope it will last for years!
Next up:
2000 calories!

Chase

2006-07-21T05:31:00.000-07:00

Well I believe that I am on a critically insane level of, well, insanity.
I could not sleep a wink last night.
That never happens to me, If it did, I feel I would build a slight tolerance to insomnia.
But who knows, I've never frickin had it as a regular thing.
And this song kept bouncing in my head.
I would tell it to go away but then slowly...

Bum ti ti bum ti ti bum ti ti bum ti ti bum ti ti.

Then I would say "okay! okay! not this time, go away!"
I would try to listen to the fan blowing in my ear every 5 seconds as it turns.
But then it would come again...

Bum ti ti bum ti ti bum ti ti bum ti ti bum ti ti.

As great of a song as it is.
I am reminded of a quote:
"For every hot girl out there,
Theres one guy tired of screwing her."

That's the same sort of gist. (sp?)

The song was (for the record)
The opening theme to the movie "RENT".
Goes something like:
"Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundered minutes.
How do you measure, measure a year."
Or some such thing.

Ahhh! It was extreme.

I felt like John Cusak in that movie "The sure thing" when he tries to talk the girl into helping with his homework at the swimming pool and eventually falling into the pool from fruseration in a spaztic movement.

And for some reason I have an awful head ache.
ewww And I feel my depersonalization creeping up on me very strongly.
Well I guess it can't creep up on me so much because I pretty much always have it.
But the volume is defenitly increasing.

-Chase

Perspective

2006-07-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

I started drawing again!
(I am quite the begginer.)
I am just starting on vanishing points and three dimension boxes and things.
It's a bit harder than I remember.
(since I was in high school)
The book I am reading for it is called "how to draw what you see".
It's a great book so far.
the author (Rudy De Reyna) also gives thier own opinions.
And I love opinions.
(I try at least)
And I have been writing with my left hand allot for the last 2 months now, and I am really getting allot better. Cursive is still quite the challenge though.
And I am not fast but again, I try.
I am reminded of the idea of "Do not try, just do."
And I try not to referance it in any sexual way.
and I try to really listen to myself and "just do it."
Like those awesome basketball players in the Nike commercial that can dunk those basketballs off of trampolines and such.
lol.
But god-damn.

Anyway,
great book.
And I am happy to be drawing again.

Leonardo Da Vinci

2006-07-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

I've Been reading this book called "How To Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci"! And it is the best creative thinking book I have ever read. If you are looking to improve your mind and your writing, please go and get this book! It is making me realize many things about myself that I never knew about. When I thought I knew alot already. Plus my writing has become a bit better. I feel more creative. I feel great. -Chase

Yes! A poem!

2006-06-25T14:58:00.000-07:00

What humans Do
By: Wendy Videlock

The candle lit
After-dinner
Careful screw,The under-the-moon
Shooby doo
Be doo groove,

The from behind,
The sixty-nine,
The is there time,

The I need wine,the twisted talking
Dirty grind,

The Erica Jong
Zipless screw
The I-got-somethin’-

To-prove ruse,
The primal bang,
The power game,

The long play
The itchy-ish, sudden-ish
Roll in the hay,

The take me away
The once a month
married way

the hail mary,
the holy-joe-
I-can’t-believe-

My-luck hump
The side to side
Slow pump,

The grudge fuck,
The quick poke,
The hard core,

The tenderest lap
Of waves on the shore,
And the gushing rushing
Endless coming
Of I’ve never feltThis way before.