If it was a monkey, I'd understand

Last week I began to fry some steaks on my stove top at 3 am when I heard a lovely little *squeak* from beneath my refrigerator."Oh how precious, A little mouse!" I had thought to myself.I watched the little guy scurry across my floor to the cat food beneath the flimsy pine table by the hallway where I broke my toe last June.Back and fourth he would go from the fridge to the cat food.Again and again!And when he was finally finished for the evening, and I had taken my steaks off of the stove, he gave out a big cry of satisfaction from within his cave.It was so loud I thought it would wake people up.So I decided I had better catch it and toss it outside.Using my Neanderthal methods I grabbed a broom and a large Tupper wear with its lid.
From one end of the fridge I jiggled the broom, and the other I had the Tupperware for it to jump in."This should work!" I thought to myself with a smile as my steaks cooled beneath the impatient moonlight.In my stretched out awkward position I Jiggled the broom. Jumping out at me, it lands inside the plastic container. My brain puts my arm in nervous warp speed and I slam the lid onto the container. But before I could get it all the way on, it slips through a tiny corner that I hadn’t secured and escapes beneath the stove. Where there happens to be whole tunnel that goes beneath all the cabinets that surround the stove.Frustrated I pace around, eat my cold steaks and off myself to bed.Morning comes and I am off to home depot to get some Humane traps.(Cause I am such a good sport.)
I find some for cheap. The brand name is "Victor." And Ill tell you why they are wrong.
I find that the mouse has discovered the lazy susan, which has al sorts of wheaty goodness to chomp on. I look inside and find an entire bad of oatmeal gone. Pasta spewed out everywhere, nutragrain bars opened, and no mouse inside. EYECARUMBA! (sp) I put cheese in one trap, and peanut butter in the other, both inside the cupboard. I felt like Tom on "Tom and Jerry." Except i guess, I am more of a sucker.I leave and come back some hours later to see what? That’s right! The door on the trap had closed! "Strawberry jelly beans!" I prepare myself by first doing jumping jacks, then opening the back door, and laughing in a victorious tone.I grab the trap carefully so as not to drop it. "it feels heavier!" I then proceed to skip outside to my back fence, open the trap, and wait, and wait...No mousy.

Mr. Jengels is going to have to meet my little snapping friend.I feel bad, but the poop all over the place is just too much.Update: Soon to come.