Wonderful Tonight

Last night I went to two parties.
One was a birthday for one of my friends (where surprisingly I knew many more people than I thought I would know), and the second was a party where I only knew one person, and the rest were cross-dressers that were dancing around to things like the movie "RENT" and CHICAGO" and just as well doing Margaret Cho impressions.
It was all fun, it was new and exciting and everyone that I met was great.

There was one problem though. Something almost meager in size but creates an impeccable outcome.
It was the little black hole of thought, sucking away my thinking, and crushing it to death. keeping me unable to respond to anybody in any way. Like my brain had been coated in a sort of ancient painted crust, or mummified.

As I stood just outside the circles of blather (my words being smashed between the jaws of my social distress), I discovered that I still had my default words. The words you use when you don’t know what else to say. I think to myself that with a little spice of enthusiasm I could utilize those words to be involved in a conversation!
But how should I begin?
And how should I then presume?

"Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets and watched the smoke that rises from pipes of lonely men in short sleeves leaning out of windows?
I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas."

My enthusiastic dullness did not work so well. Some part of me had realized that at some point I must carry on a conversation.

The night was wasted in a learning experience.

Longer than the average shit

I havent written in a while because I have actually been interested in school lately.
Psycology class has now become more than just a place to admire and talk to hot girls. I am now liking what it has to offer. I am learning all sorts of stuff on the psycology of what we do, see, and experiance in our everyday lives. It's really quite fun!
As far as my English class goes, it's fun and I have a small amount of opportunity to be creative and expressive (which is better than none), but my teacher is friggin grammar nazi! She urges to point out more mistakes and negative apects of peoples paper than she does with the positive. It's not all that modivating, but I am still enjoying the learning and the activities.
In other news I wrote a letter to my hateful sister yesterday for the first time in my life. I told her about how I feel that no matter how nice I am she always seems to hate me (Even taking psycology doesnt help in figuring her out). It was a kind of bummer, but it becomes extremely frusterating when everytime I enter a room that she is in, she gets upset and storms out. Plates rattling from her stomping and all. I am not trying to make myself sound like the good-guy here, and I know that this blog is now longer than the average shit and no-one will want to read it now, but I honestly don't know how to help her in being pleasent to me.
When loving kindness doesnt work, and hate seems to be her only way of expression towards me, what else can I do?